A Homeschooler's Pensieve: If C3PO Talked Like Dr. Suess...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

If C3PO Talked Like Dr. Suess...

"I would not be flown here or there, I would not be flown anywhere! I do not like to fly, oh no, I do not like to, Han Solo!"

"Wockets? In our pockets? We're in danger! I must tell the others -- OH NO! I'M IN SOCKS!!"

"They're heading in this direction. What are we going to do? We'll be sent to the waiting place and wait for who knows what!"

"We'll have no more of this 'Obi-Wan Kenobi' gibberish! And don't talk to me of your hunch either!"

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Is there a medical term for the tendency to glance at the last part of whatever section you're reading, whether it be the final panel of a cartoon or the last sentence on the page of a novel, and have to back up and read the prior progression with your frame of mind ruined?
Should speech in the next life employ a reversal of the scrambling of languages at Babel, I hope we all start talking in Old Solar.
Someday I will make my own Halloween scare track entirely out of Majora's Mask sound effects.

~Tome Of Randomness~

Only a nerd listens to "One-Winged Angel" while reading the climax of "Order of the Phoenix."
Next time you play "Sardines," try having a couple of your seeking buddies hide with you, and see how many other seekers you can drag into thinking they've found the hiders.
"If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life." ~ Calvin
Only a nerd connects a dementor hand to Calvin's "Sinister, Icy-Black Hand of Death" club name.
Video game music is proof that electric guitar and orchestral strings can be combined with a sense of beauty.
Some world geniuses: Dante Alighieri, Thomas Aquinas, Albert Einstein, Bill Watterson, Nobuo Uematsu...
"How can I impulse-buy if I don't know where anything is??" ~ One of my brothers
"I only learn a language long enough to make fun of it." ~ My dad
Hey, listen to this. / It's a piece of poetry. / It is really short. -- A haiku by Ceff E. Roth
Only a nerd has a black-and-white photo of Spock displayed on the bookshelves.
Willow was such a successful sorcerer that he went on to become Hogwarts' charms teacher!
If a kid commits a crime, is that the fallacy of the illicit minor?
If one incorrectly assumes that a former NHL player's disability is due to an accident in the rink, would that be the fallacy known as "Post Hockey Ergo Propter Hockey"?
See Jane. See Jane run. Run, Jane, run. See Dick. See Dick and his thermonuclear missile. Run, Jane, RUN!!
There are things worse than death . . . like that dreadful, yellow chompey thing that eats everything but your eyes. [From the film "Press Start"]
FPS [abbr] 1. Frames Per Second; 2. First-Person Shooter; 3. a way of life in which one's path is grounded in Faith, guided by Philosophy, and aided by Science
It's a nerd! It's a brain! No, it's . . . SUPER GEEK!!
"The Caterpillar In Your Chest" -- The feeling of unease that arises somewhere between your stomach and your throat with a slightly constricting or stifling sensation, usually connected to nervous shock or anxiety. It is often a precursor to having butterflies in your stomach. ~ A half-baked idiom by Ceff E. Roth
"All men are created equal, they just don't stay equal." ~ One of my brothers
"Of course this is happening in your head . . . but why on earth sould that mean it isn't real?"
Look at this computer! It's slow and it hangs up! It's so crummy. It's so scummy. Oh, it is so crummy-scummy! I think it needs lots of -- oh, wait....
New expression: When you get an idea and lose it right away, you "had a brainstorm, and the power went out."
It's hard to read between the lines when they aren't double-spaced.
"When you get 'served' by a human in a dancing competition, you walk away with an injured ego. When you get 'served' by a moogle, you don't walk away at all."
"The best things in life are beyond money; their price is agony and sweat and devotion . . . and the price demanded for the most precious of all things in life is life itself---ultimate cost for perfect value." ~ Mr. Dubois, "Starship Troopers"
You must like biology when you can't just tell your brother that worms are hermaphrodites with plain words, but need to recall and use the scientific term.
People who are modest about their achievements may just be too dumbfounded to say anything prideful.
"You can give a man a fish, or you can teach a man to fish. Give the man a fish; then you can sell him more." ~ my friend, The Yellow Dart
Everyone knows life's not fair, but what really stings is you can't be unfair to life in return.
Paranoia is what some driving instructor is out to teach you.
"Uh - oh! The truck have started to move!" ~ Solid Snake
To B, or not to B...hmmm...That's hard to say...C...C is for cookie - that's good enough for me.
If pinball doesn't support chaos theory, nothing does.
"I don't want to survive! I wanna live!!" ~ The captain, "Wall•E"
If you have your portrait done by an artist who charges in 25¢ increments, are you "drawn and quartered"?
Would something resembling a sea monster be called a "Loch-Ness likeness"?
sig·na·ture /signəchər/ [n.] a person's name written in repeatedly degraded cursive, usually becoming one or two illegible glyphs
The reason why 21 is such a common winning score in games is because it's the drinking age; when you reach 21 you get to quit and have a beer.
"Icebreaker" activities could be so named because, if done on ice, the amount of disordered running around would break it.
Irony is Emerson's "Self-Reliance." The only way to follow it is to not read it.
People who play "Half-Life" all day have "no life."
"Music is enough for a lifetime, but a lifetime is not enough for music."
Miley Cyrus is an android.
Vulcan emoticon: }:^| It's the only one you'll ever need.
Windows' internal workings are so messed up, it compares to Macs almost like man's creation compared to God's.
GPS = rate of Government Per Second.
"Windows" computers are an ongoing experiment to see if people are as dumb as birds.
Habit + Hobby = Hobbit
In the year 2020, the campaign plans of the presidential nominees should be called their "2020 visions."
School zones have reduced speed limits to give the students the illusion that time is crawling.
Economics is like physics: whenever one thing goes up, something else goes down; and it's a big pain in the neck to figure out.
'You cannot define good without defining purpose, and you cannot define purpose without defining cause.'
Potential is a double-edged sword, but the worst course is to leave it sheathed and admire the hilt.
If there are no answers, there cannot be questions.
"Sometimes sarcasm helps us think more clearly." ~ Dogbert
"(An unmatched left parenthesis creates an unresolved tension that will stay with you all day." ~ xkcd strip 859
"It was only a minute ago, as the universe measures time, that our kind was scared of fire, so our faith in our tools to now definitively disprove God is as arrogant as it is amusing." ~ Leonard Pitts
"Just because God created atheists doesn't mean He doesn't exist." ~ My dad
"It isn't easy to live Catholic, but it sure is easy to die Catholic." ~ A dying sister
"You can let the cat out of the bag, but the cat might not come out."
"The four stages of life": 1) You believe in Santa. 2) You don't believe in Santa. 3) You are Santa. 4) You look like Santa.
"God is dead. -Nietzsche; Nietzsche is dead. -God" [Part of a comment string]
"Without music, life would be a moustache." ~~~Nietzsche~~ Katie Dickinson
The Final Fantasy Fanbase Contingency Rule: Which game is considered the best depends on which one's music you are listening to on YouTube.
"[A watch is] a map. Except the you are here keeps scooting ahead." ~Caulfield [Frazz]
"When you can't run anymore, you crawl; and when you can't do that, you find someone to carry you." [A saying from "Firefly"]
"Space... It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end, and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you." [Futurama]
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." ~ George Orwell
The waves of time take me deeper into you, / A haze as blue as summer skies. / And turn to find the key will not unlock the door; / This broken bird, away it flies! -- "Stars of Tears" [Xenogears]
Tautological meme is tautological.
Most people are only human; but a real whack-job's problem may be that he's only Hume. Odd thing is, some folks are Nietzsche.
"An insane person keeps doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. An optimist does that, too, but he doesn't realize he's doing the same thing over and over." ~ Scott Adams
"The essence of the motif is the mirror of water whose appearance alters at every moment" ~ Claude Monet
"The secret to happiness is high expectations and your own bag of chips." ~ Dogbert
"I’ve always thought that one of the the great things about physics is that you can add more digits to any number and see what happens and nobody can stop you." ~ R. Munroe, xkcd

Thursday, May 21, 2009

If C3PO Talked Like Dr. Suess...

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~Tome Of Randomness~